Introduction to the U.S. edition
by
Mark Twain (Samuel Clemens)

            In this world of uncertainties, there is, at any rate, one thing which may be pretty confidently set down as a certainty: and that is, that this celebrated little phrase-book will never die while the English language lasts. Its delicious unconscious ridiculousness, and its enchanting naiveté, as are supreme and unapproachable, in their way, as are Shakespeare’s sublimities. Whatsoever is perfect in its kind, in literature, is imperishable: nobody can imitate it successfully, nobody can hope to produce its fellow; it is perfect, it must and will stand alone: its immortality is secure.

            It is one of the smallest books in the world, but few big books have received such wide attention, and been so much pondered by the grave and learned, and so much discussed and written about by the thoughtful, the thoughtless, the wise, and the foolish. Long notices of it have appeared, from time to time, in the great English reviews, and in erudite and authoritative philological periodicals; and it has been laughed at, danced upon, and tossed in a blanket by nearly every newspaper and magazine in the English-speaking world. Every scribbler, almost, has had his little fling at it, at one time or another; I had mine fifteen years ago. The book gets out of print, every now and then, and one ceases to hear of it for a season; but presently the nations and near and far colonies of our tongue and lineage call for it once more, and once more it issues from some London or Continental or American press, and runs a new course around the globe, wafted on its way by the wind of a world’s laughter.

            Many persons have believed that this book’s miraculous stupidities were studied and disingenuous; but no one can read the volume carefully through and keep that opinion. It was written in serious good faith and deep earnestness, by an honest and upright idiot who believed he knew something of the English language, and could impart his knowledge to others. The amplest proof of this crops out somewhere or other upon each and every page. There are sentences in the book which could have been manufactured by a man in his right mind, and with an intelligent and deliberate purposes to seem innocently ignorant; but there are other sentences, and paragraphs, which no mere pretended ignorance could ever achieve — nor yet even the most genuine and comprehensive ignorance, when unbacked by inspiration.

            It is not a fraud who speaks in the following paragraph of the author’s Preface, but a good man, an honest man, a man whose conscience is at rest, a man who believes he has done a high and worthy work for his nation and his generation, and is well pleased with his performance: “We expect then, who the little book (for the care what we wrote him, and for her typographical correction) that may be worth the acceptation of the studious persons, and especially of the Youth, at which we dedicate him particularly.”

            One cannot open this book anywhere and not find richness. To prove that this is true, I will open it at random and copy the page I happen to stumble upon. Here is the result:

DIALOGUE 16 
For To See the Town
 

Anothony, go to accompany they gentlemen, do they see the town. 
We won’t to see all that is it remarkable here. 
Come with me, if you please. I shall not forget nothing what can to merit your attention. Here we are near to cathedral; will you come in there? 
We will first to see him in outside, after we shall go in there for to look the interior. 
Admire this master piece gothic architecture’s. 
The chasing of all they figures is astonishing’ indeed. 
The cupola and the nave are not less curious to see. 
What is this palace how I see yonder? 
It is the town hall. 
And this tower here at this side? 
It is the Observatory. 
The bridge is very fine, it have ten arches, and is constructed of free stone. 
The streets are very layed out by line and too paved. 
What is the circuit of this town? 
Two leagues. 
There is it also hospitals here? 
It not fail them. 
What are then the edifices the worthiest to have seen? 
It is the arsnehal, the spectacle’s hall, the Cusiomhouse, and the Purse. 
We are going too see the others monuments such that the public pawnbroker’s office, the plants garden’s, the money office’s, the library. 
That it shall be for another day; we are tired. 

 

DIALOGUE 17 
To Inform One’self of a Person

How is that gentilman who you did speak by and by? 
Is a German. 
I did think him Englishman. 
He is of the Saxony side. 
He speak the french very well. 
Tough he is German, he speak so much well italyan, french, spanish and english, that among the Italyans, they believe him Italyan, he speak the frenche as the Frenches himselves. The Spanishesmen believe him Spanishing, and the Englishes, Englishman.
It is difficult to enjoy well so much several langages.

            The last remark contains a general truth; but it ceases to be a truth when one contracts it and applies it to an individual — provided that individual is the author of this book, Senhor Pedro Carolino. I am sure I should not find it difficult “to enjoy well so much several langages” — or even a thousand of them — if he did the translating for me from the originals into his ostensible English.

 


 

Idiotismos e Proverbios
Idiotisms and Proverbs

(A Selection)

 

A necessidade não tem lei. The necessity don’t know the low.
Dar de narizes a laguem. To meet any-one nose at nose.
Pouco a pouco o passaro faz seu ninho.   Few, few the bird make her nest.
Mais vêem quatro olhos que dous. Four eyes does see better than two.
Entra-me por um ouvido e sahe-me por outro. What come in to me for an ear yet out for another.
As paredes teem ouvidos. The walls have hearsay.
Está na espínha. He has not than the skin on the bones.
Quem bem ama, tarde esquece. Which love well no forget to.
Fallou com o coração nas mãos. He spoken at open heart.
Elle tem rasca na assadura. He has a part in the coke.
Morreu como uma luz que se apaga. He ran through as a candle. 

É boa massa de homem.It is a good natured soul.Tem as guelas ladrilhadas.He has the throat paved.Não tem casa nem lar.He has not neither fire nor place.Pagar-se por suas mãos.To pay one’s self for hers hands.Não veio para enfiar perolas.He came for to thread pearls.Os peixes maiores comem os menores.The great fishes eat the small.Anda de gatinhas.He go to four feet.Passárão o rio a pé enxuto.They have passed the river dried up.Quem tem dinheiro faz o que quér.With some money, one come to end of all.Quanto mais tem, mais desja.More he has, more he wish to have.Por dinheiro baila o perro.Nothing some money, nothing of Swiss.Cada um para si, e Deos para todos.Every one for him, and God for all.Descobrio a mercia.He has discovered the pot to roses.Lança poeira nos olhos.He throw the dust to eyes.Aprendeu á custa alhei.He becomes wise to expenses of others.Isso faz agua na boca.That make to come water in the mouth.Está como o peixe n’agua.He is like the fish into the water.Trazer alguem entre dentes.To have any one between the teeth.Dorme como um arganaz.He steep as a marmot.Tomor o céo co’ as mãos.Take the moon with the teeth.Elle tem bico.He has a good beak.Na terra dos cegos o que tem um olho é rei. In the country of blinds, the one eyed men are kings.Dar de ôlho a alguem.To do a wink to some body.Comprar gato em sacco.To buy a cat in pocket.Quem compra e mente na bolsa o sente. He lies to expenses of her purse.Governa tua boca conforme tua bolsa. According to thy purse rule thy mouth.Os dinheiros do sacristão cantando veem,What comes to the flute sound,cantando vão. go one’s to the drum sound.Os bons padecem pelos máos.The good suffer for the bad men.A boa fome não há máo pão.To good appetite it not want any sauce.Acabou-se a festa, tomai o toldo.Keep the curtains, the farce is played.Amizade de menino é agua em cestinho.Friendship of a child is water into a basket.A cavallo dado não se lhe olha para o dente.A horse baared don’t look him the tooth.Quem tem a culpa pague a pena.This who breaks the glasses pay them.Depois do asno morto cevada ao rabo.After the death, the doctor.